Skip to main content

THEFACESHOP Rice Water Bright Light Cleansing Oil

Why I don't belong in Finland

Since I was young I always felt being outside the group for different reasons. My name was English or Spanish instead of Finnish name, I was the only girl studying ethics instead of religion and I was into Asian cultures and artistic things like drawing and playing piano. I liked playing video games and I didn't really care trying to fit in the group. I always walked my own path and tried always be myself — which led to the fact that I wasn't part of any group. I was also bullied probably because I was different, skinny and tall, whatever the reasons were. That time I started to hang out in Helsinki, in the capital, and met a lot of different cool people I felt connection with. I noticed how changing the place and the city made me happier. People accepted me.
sustainable fashion
After the time passed I went to an art high school and I got some chances to travel for some school projects and stuff. I also attended summer high school in France before high school. I never really traveled a lot before the age of 16 even though I always wanted to. It simply wasn't possible before that. In my high school times I was so grateful about travelling and I started to save money right away for my own trips. I really loved the feeling when I got to somewhere else from Finland. All the things were bigger and somehow I felt I was seen way differently just due to being a foreigner. People were more open minded and excited about meeting different people and cultures. I realized how many Finnish people had been so narrow minded in my life.

When I finally started modeling and other things through that, I found myself doing something I always wanted to — travel for work. I had always been the girl who was a weirdo or something else in Finland but through modeling abroad a whole new world opened up to me. People were excited about me and my look. I understood how being myself was only an advantage not something to be ashamed of. My name fit better in English pronunciation, my interest in Asian cultures helped me a lot in Korea, Hong Kong and Taiwan, my ethic studies helped me to understand all the different religions and views of life...and the last but not least being skinny and tall made modeling possible. All the things I had been insecure as a kid were something to be proud of.
Even though nowadays I have amazing friends and other beautiful things in Finland — I can't deny the fact that part of me is somewhere else. After being abroad quite a lot and especially in Asia I see myself missing a lot of things there. I miss kind of busy life and lot things happening around me, the smell of Asian food and music on the streets, Korean clothes and beaches in Hong Kong. I miss how happy people were in Portugal. I miss all my international friends who made my year precious and the most — I miss working abroad. I have seen how big the world is and after that it's very hard to be stable in one place. I have never been a person who just likes to stay still. I need activities and something more and bigger than Finland. Sometimes it's so quiet here that it feels unreal. I need to hear the world, not only the quiet breath of the Nordic hemisphere. I need to go somewhere where I can feel alive — and I will go back there.

Thanks for reading and remember to Subscribe my blog or Follow me with Bloglovin!
The pictures are a collaboration with Kaarna Living x Visualist Helsinki. Check out my previous post about them!


  1. Hope to see you again, in Hong Kong soon! You are a citizen of the world now!

  2. You've been challenged once again!


Post a Comment